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Bringing home your puppy...funny with a 'dash' of truth!

The dream vs the reality....hopefully this gives you all a giggle, some of you reasurrance and all of us a reminder that puppy's are hard work!

ahhhh...the dream

Toilet training:

The dream: They go straight outside as soon as you get home and have a wee.

The reality: They sit on your feet sheltering from the rain as you get wet. Then go inside and pee on the mat. (But they do get to the mat...or they eat it (the mat....or the poop!)


The dream: They eat all their food beautifully and politely

The reality: Nope, don't want to eat that!

Crate training/bedtimes

The dream: They sleep all night and don't make a peep

The reality: If you are lucky they wake every couple of hours for reassurance and settle quickly. But chances are....they scream the minute you leave them!

Going for a walk

The dream: They walk beautifully next to you as you walk proudly through the park

The reality: Walk? You're kidding, they scream like a banshee the minute they feel any tension on the lead, and scratch like they've got fleas the minute you put the collar on!

Showing off your puppy

The dream: People respectfully coo over your new puppy

The reality: Your dachshund is public property. Everyone reaches out to them, lets their dogs splat them and get right in their faces, gosh, people even just pick them up. Lets not mention the grown adults screaming at the sausagggge ddoooooggggg! They might get a free icecream though!

Back to toilet training

The dream: poops are firm and always outside or at least on their pad

The reality: they deliberately booby trap your shoes with a squishy stinker so you get dachshund turds stuck between your toes in the middle of the night and then skid on their pee as you hop to the bathroom. ( one got pictures of that one!)

Spending time together in the garden

The dream: spending time gardening together

The reality: they dig holes and pull up your new plants, and just make a mess!

Your stuff

The dream: everything stays where you left it

The reality: your underwear, shoes, socks is their property! NOTHING is safe!

And the dishwasher.....its a stand for them to do the dishwashing! They arrive preprogrammed!


The dream: They just don't ever chew anything they shouldn't

The reality: There go the airpods, the amazon remotes, your favourite trainers, the charger, the cushion, your heels are a toothpick.....right?!


The dream: they love every toy you buy them and snuggle up with them at night

The reality: You're kidding, they pull the stuffing out of every toy they get hold of and still prefer your trainers!

Lets have it:

The dream of having a puppy versus the reality is massive. It is exhausting, and can really knock your confidence. Puppy blues are a real thing! It can take several weeks, sometimes longer for a puppy to settle into your home and into your routine. One minute you will love them, the next you'll be sobbing in a corner wondering what went wrong! It will take consistency, patience and dedication to teach those puppies from the ground up how to live in your environment, and you will have to keep refreshing this knowledge as they grow facing different challenges especially over the first 2 years.

The dream will become the reality if you get a puppy knowing you're going to have these ups and downs and being fully prepared to make time to help them. In order to help with toilet training you need to be there to guide them. In order to help them cope with our very intense world you need to take things slowly and patiently. Understanding dog body language is super important so you can help them if they are struggling. You may think you know.....but do you? Even the wag in their tails can mean different things and emotional states of mind.

The first 2 years is tough, but it is wonderful and is gone in a flash. Make sure you work with a respected trainer or behaviourist right from the start, someone who helps you build their confidence and in turn builds yours. Someone who is passionate about what they do and isn't just going through the motions. Your trainer, the first person who helps you train your dogs is invaluable, in my opinion they should be the most experienced person in the room as this part of the journey will dictate the way they respond for the rest of their lives. If assistants are taking the class a senior should be supervising. We all love puppy classes, but we often forget just how important those first classes are.

I will be running occasional basic puppy online sessions to help support your training journey. The first is now listed with an early bird discount on under current courses

Best advice I can give: Enjoy them. Teach them. Nurture them. Make time for them every single day for the rest of their lives.

One day, you will look at your lifelong friend and remember the puppy days with a smile.

Photo credit - Huge thanks to my Barking Course graduates for sharing their pictures for this blog, there were so many naughty and nice pictures I really struggled to choose just a few, but I couldn't fit them all in (there were over 200 puppy pictures!) Images remain the property of the owners and should not be shared outside of this blog without their express permission.

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